Show me the way.
'Nothing is better than sex
Masturbation is better than nothing
Therefore Masturbation is better than Sex!’
Anon.
I’ve always wondered if
masturbation is an ugly word or whether it just has a bad reputation.
There are many words for
it so I guess that other people don’t like the word either. Just think about it
– It’s called, wanking, buttering the mielie, jerking off, patting the pink
paddle – you get the idea?
Masturbation is such an
essential part of our sexual repertoire. As a girl it can teach us the
difference between love and lust. It can help us discover what we like and what
we don’t.
Let’s face it that men don’t come fitted with a Garmin and they NEVER
ask for directions and even if they did would we know what to tell?
If you know what you
want and how you want it AND you could teach your other half just the right way
– wouldn’t that be wonderful? Imagine if you could just say – ‘No Dude, you’re
in the wrong place move a little slower, one finger up and two fingers across.’
One of my biggest
complaints is that men stick their fingers into you like they are testing bath
water. There is just nothing sexy about it, not even remotely.
Which brings me to mutual
masturbation. This assumes that you and your partner are comfortable with
masturbation and then are willing to take it to the next level.
Mutual masturbation is
a great way to connect with your partner and learn what he/she likes sexually
so you can give better, more intense orgasm!
We tend
to think of masturbation as a solitary event, but it can also be a great
addition to any couple’s list of erotic options. Simultaneous masturbation
is an all-fun/no-danger way to share enjoyment and get to know each
other’s preferences.
So how do
you go about it – It involves the two of you masturbating in each other’s
presence. If you are in the room while she is touching and fingering herself, you
can understand better what she needs and what you’re supposed to do when
you’re in charge and visa versa.
Does she
like short strokes or long strokes? Does she rub her clitoris clockwise
or counter clockwise? Does she like her genitals be touched gently or does
she like it rougher? Pulling or stretching? Fondling or fingering? And what about your favourite vibrator?
All these
little secrets bring you closer and help you facilitate each other’s
enjoyment of sex.
In order
for her to feel comfortable enough to do it while you are watching, is
only fair that you do it too. She will love watching you masturbate as much as
you like watching her.
Once you
both get worked up, you can switch and do each other (this is called
mutual masturbation). There are numerous ways you can do this, just use your
imagination, your hands and your tongues. And what about your favourite vibrator? And whatever you do - do not forget the lube. It's liking adding just enough seasoning to a gorgeous meal.
The
amount of pleasure that you can both get out of this is immense. After such
an intense bonding experience, you'll feel more prepared and more
comfortable about sex with your partner.
Shared
masturbation can and must build trust. When you expose yourself to another,
you must know that your sharing is welcome, that you won’t be ridiculed. It's a bit like being safe enough to share a fantasy. Give it a try these holidays. We all know that nothing really beats 3pm holiday sex!
In case I don't get around to another post before the season is over - Happy Holidays. May you remain safe and spend time with those you love. And if you can't - well then love the ones you're with!
