Wednesday 21 October 2015

LCS - Question 38

38            When I think about Valentine’s Day … 


These questions have been taken from a game called Love Conversation Starters. Use them to increase intimacy in your relationship.
I’d love to hear your answers – please comment, share and post. Visit www.lolamontez.co.za for products, articles, parties and much more. Follow my blog to ensure that you do not miss the #Loveconversationstarters #LCS.

Product of the Week:

Lelo Lyla Couple Remote Control Vibrator

Monday 19 October 2015

Censored!

This is the article you were NOT allowed to read in the Saturday Star this past weekend - it was considered as too explicit


How to Choose Your First Sex Toy.

I keep hinting at why you should be incorporating sex toys into your play and with a bit of luck you’ve almost made the decision to buy your first toy – Congratulations!

I know that the next step is quite daunting!  You’ve browsed the sex toys, checked out a few buyers’ guides and now know exactly what a cock ring does, you may even have decided if you’re a clit or G-Spot girl, but how do you actually choose a sex toy for yourself?

Stores like Lola Montez, have made it ultra easy for you to choose the right first time sex toy. If you are close to one of these stores, lovely consultants will assist you and you will be able to touch and feel the candidates. If not the Lola Montez website has provided you with lots of easy-to-read and simple information on the product pages.

Size

Size is very important in a sex toy. It will depend on what you want from your toy? Are you a clit or G-Spot girl? Are you going to use your toy as a couple or on your own?

If you plan on enjoying clitoral play, then you’ll want something small in length and girth like an Ammunition Bullet Vibrator, WeVibe Tango or an Egg style vibrator.

If you like the idea of pleasurable penetration, then you’ll want something with a good length and a reasonable girth to it, like G Vibe or Natural Clone.
To determine exactly what size is right for you, consider what you’ve experienced already and what you enjoy most. Massive dildos won’t feel very nice to someone who has never experienced penetration and a slim Bullet Vibrator is sure to disappoint a size queen!

Shape

Sex toys are no longer phallic shaped monsters made from hard plastic (although they are still available and popular. Many sex toys have been designed by women and are ergonomic in shape, designed to fit your body perfectly.

These ergonomically designed toys are extremely popular. They are designed to fit the shape of the body and to fit into the palm of the hand – See Lelo Lily and the Love Stone.

When considering the shape of your sex toy, you need to know what you want it to do. If you want a mind-blowing clitoral orgasm, go for a simple classic vibrator where the vibrations are focused in the tip.

If you want to experiment with G-spot or prostate play then you’ll need a toy with a curve at the top of the shaft. Try the HipG, G Vibe  or the Lelo Gigi.
You have no doubt heard about the Rabbit Vibrators, made popular by Sex and the City. There are many different types on the market and are ideal for dual stimulation, G-Spot and Clitoral. If you look at the design you will see the shaft and on the side the Rabbit (or Bird or Dolphin). Usually the shaft makes a swirling motion (the further you bend it the bigger the motion). While all that is happening the Rabbit sits on the Clit area and vibrates. See Roger Rabbit or Je Joue Fifi. This toy is not for the nervous novice and the size may scare your partner.

We Vibe, Share Vibe or Vibrating Cock Rings are fantastic couple toys.
If you want to enjoy anal, then start with something small to aid insertion. Ensure that anything that gets inserted into the anus has a long handle or a flared base, as the anus sucks during orgasm and you don’t want to be having a trip to the Emergency Room. Try Omega Butt Plug or Jewel Plug.

If you cannot visit a store near you photos on the product pages allow you to see exactly what shape the sex toy is and where it is designed to go. By checking the different photographic views, you can easily decide if that sex toy will work for you although very often you may get a surprise at the size – too small or too big so it’s always best to purchase your first toy in person.

Power

It is actually possible for a vibrator to be too powerful.

If you’re particularly sensitive, then something as powerful as a Wand or Pocket Rocket is going to prove painful rather than pleasurable.
However, if you struggle to orgasm, then you’re going to want something with a lot of power and multiple functions.

The easiest way to work out the power of a sex toy is to look at the kind of batteries it takes. The bigger the batteries, or the more there are of them, the more powerful a sex toy is and the ones that charge or are attached to the mains, like a pocket palm usually pack quite a punch.

Reviews

So you’ve slimmed your selection down to a few potential candidates but what would really push you in the right direction are the opinions of real life sex toy enthusiasts so read the reviews but nothing beats trying it out for yourself.
I suggest that you have a couple of toys to choose from because variety adds spice and you never know what you are going to feel like for dinner tonight. Happy playing.

If this was too explicit I guess a column on how to have anal sex is out of the question? 

Monday 12 October 2015

How to Check The Girls!

It is important to check the girls regularly! Download your FREE guide today by simply following the link provided below. 

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month #BreastCancerAwarenessMonth so make sure you check yours and get all your friends to do the same! 

How to check the girls

Sex after Breast Cancer

Sex after Breast Cancer



October is Breast Health Month. #BreastCareAwarenessMonth. If you haven’t had the girls checked recently this is a reminder to get it done. It could save your life. Whilst being diagnosed with breast cancer is traumatic enough the devastating effect it has on your body is not the only fight you have on your hands. 

Unfortunately intimacy and sex are often also casualties in the war against cancer.

Breast cancer management often includes surgery, (a lumpectomy or mastectomy), radiation therapy and/or chemotherapy and hormone blockers.  Obviously, all these treatments have side effects that have to be managed, combined with this the patient and her partner’s emotional aspects of dealing with a life-threatening illness.

Most patients are too involved with survival in the initial stages of treatment to worry about sexuality. However, after a few months, they may be ready to restart their sexual relationship only to find that it’s lost in action. So here are a couple of tips to help you recover.

Let me start by reminding you that you are not alone your partner will step up and there are many groups and organizations you can turn to for help.

Your partner may not have the disease but he is also affected by the diagnosis. His fear levels may not be as high as yours but I can guarantee that he is terrified of loosing you and has no idea of what the future holds for him and the family. He doesn’t know how to approach you, touch you or talk to you. In many ways this disease can finish off or strengthen your relationship. The decision is yours.

Many men report that they don’t want to cause embarrassment or pain which is why they avoid physical contact. We naturally jump to the worst conclusion and thinks it’s because he no longer sees us as a woman and finds us unattractive and so the vicious cycle begins.

Any cancer treatment will leave you feeling depleted. You may lose your hair and have a mastectomy. Whilst reconstruction is an option open to many it is not always available to every survivor. Chances are you will experience menopausal symptoms and if you have had a bone marrow transplant chances are you will develop ulcers on the vagina walls.

So now you don’t only have to deal with an impoverished self image but a great deal of pain and discomfort too. Before you lose heart, be patient, help is at hand and remember that this too shall pass.

Sexual health is an important component of everyone’s overall health. Research has shown that those of us who are sexual have higher quality of life scores than those who don’t, which in turn helps speed up the healing process. Retaining intimacy in your relationship both during and after Breast Cancer diagnosis is critical to your recovery.

Having sex again may be daunting but the first step is coming to terms with your own body. A difficult task for even the healthiest of us, but you have to develop a positive view of your naked self and you have to include your partner in this journey. If you shut him out you may find he is not with you at the end.

The ideal is that you remain confident and accept your scars. This may be really difficult at first so you may want to start with covering them up with gorgeous sexy lingerie even if you don’t feel like it. Sooner or later you are however going to have to face your naked self.

Ease into it with mirror therapy. Stand in front of a full length mirror fully clothed and have a long, hard look. Find 3 things that you like about yourself. When you are ready you can repeat the exercise and now remove a layer of clothes. Stand in your lingerie and finally do it naked. Examine every square inch. Cry if you want to but find those 3 things that you like about yourself. Concentrate on the positives.

The last stage in this exercise (and it may take months) is to let your partner participate. Let them be the full length mirror. You have to let them look and touch and get over their own fear.

Partner’s you need to react with care, touch if you want to and don’t forget to ask how it feels, and how it feels when you touch the scars.

She will feel like less sex than before the disease. Breast cancer slows the body down. Many women have little or no sex after diagnosis and during treatment. They just don’t have the energy and it is very normal.

Don’t let the myths of other people’s sex lives get in the way of yours. What you do have to do is talk about it.

Before attempting intercourse it is important to feel comfortable, relaxed and aroused. So concentrate on foreplay. Now is the perfect time to up your game and learn some new techniques. Arousal needs to be amplified so use aids like movies and sex toys or what about a bit of role play. Use buckets of lubricant and if penetration is still too painful remember some of the best orgasms are hand induced externally. No man ever said no to a great hand job either!

Try a new position, on your side with your back to him is a great one.

Practice getting into the mood yourself. Determine how your body is feeling without him around, bring out your toys, it will help alleviate the fear of whether you can participate or not.

If your breasts used to be a big part of your play, you may have to find and explore new ways. Talk about the new sensations. Remember neither of you can read the other’s mind, you have to talk and if you don’t know how pick any subject and just start.

You may want to get third party assistance or write it down, whatever is easier for you but get it done! The old you is gone as is the old relationship. This is a good thing. You now have the opportunity to make it better, more intimate, more meaningful and more orgasmic but it is not going to happen if you don’t open your mouth and ask, tell and share. Beat the fear, start today.

For more info contact me on Sharon@lolamontez.co.za



Friday 2 October 2015

Judging the Basic Instincts Pole Championship

If you are a regular reader of this blog or my column in the Saturday Star you will know that I recently took up pole dancing so I was extremely privileged to be invited to judge the recent pole dance competition held at Sexpo.



The organizer of the event was Juanita Fouche from Basic Instincts Studio and I know I am going to sound a bit like a sycophant but here goes!

There was R20k prize money in it for the winner and winner takes all! I have judged a couple of Pole competitions in the past so it was not new to me but what I was impressed with was the efficiency and professionalism of the judging process.

Every competition seems to accuse the poor judges of being biased, the right person never wins and the complaints go on! Personally I am offended if someone thinks that I would not apply my best effort and would be shallow enough to let bias affect my judgment. (Just so you know when I judged in the past if anyone I knew participated I excused myself from that round so I could not be accused!)

This time however none of the judges except the organizer Juanita knew who the contestants were or which studios they came from. I do however know both dancers of the couple event and placed my knowledge on record.

If you'd like to learn how to pole dance, join a studio near you and if you can't then get Juanita's DVDs for Beginner, Intermediate and Advanced Dancers



Judging was done online and submitted immediately so we could not talk to fellow judges or compare notes. The scores were then compiled by another party and calculated. Each contestant got our judging sheets emailed to them immediately after the scores were complied.

We had to look at 10 elements of the performance and had to score them out of 10. The top two scorers of each evening went through to the finals and the process was repeated.

I felt a huge responsibility, there was R20k at stake after all! I think we did a good job.

So here is how it went – The judges were:
  • Juanita Fouche – owner of Basic Instincts Studio and organizer.
  • Ian Thomas Pursey – Designer and entertainer
  • Qaanita Brown-de Bruyn – Model, dancer and media specialist - see her guest contribution below.
  • Sharon Gordon – Me! Owner of Lola Montez!



The four Finalists were:

  • Riette Dunn
  • Nikita Smit
  • Kessuree Srisroy
  • Neroesjke Theunissen








And the winner

Kessuree Srisroy! Congratulation – you were fantastic!









A special mention to the couple who danced. It was special and I don’t want to think about how difficult it is to do what they do together on the pole! Rayne Pole Junkie and Elzani du Toit.

My Nights in the Hot Seatby Qaanita Brown-de Bruyn  

Beautiful bodies, sun-kissed tans, high heels, perfectly pointed toes, sparkly costumes, false eyelashes, carnival music, feats of athleticism, pristine Hollywood waxes and pink poles... This has been my life for the past three nights, as a judge on the panel of the Basic Instincts pole dance competition, held at Gallagher Estate in Midrand this weekend.

I was awed by the performers, who are able to command their bodies to move, flex and contort at will, into the most breathtaking manipulations. 

As I watched them perform, I felt empowered in the knowledge that these women were continuing to change the old stigma of pole dance and taking it even further into the light, where it can be seen for the magnificent form of dance that it is. A form of dance that, like every sport, requires superior fitness, technique, flexibility, core muscle strength and tremendous amounts of discipline, commitment and passion.

I have been inspired by this experience and I dare you to join me as I start pole dancing with Basic Instincts, where I hope to rediscover my inner Goddess.

You can find me on Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest - @spicedbrown 















Don't let your first time be - wham, bang, thank you ma'am.

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Sexpo 2015

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