Who will do more damage?

So this is a copy of an email I received in April (her writing - Tash, in black and my response in red. As I said yesterday, I wonder who is going to do more damage? 

HI,

I am writing to ask in the most diplomatic way I can to take down the very tacky and inappropriate advertising you have along Sandton Drive.  I don't see what value you are adding to the community. Are you inspiring and lifting your community and the country of South Africa.

Yes I am - our business is all about ensuring that everyone - women and men understand their sexuality, respect it and explore it within the confines of their individuality. NOTHING we do encourages inappropriate sexual behaviour.

As a guest in your country, that is well known for its aids/hiv problems, it seems easy to put the two together. 

As a guest to my country you clearly have no idea of the social issues concerning the HIV debate nor the multitude of causes. Here are just a few:

      Rape of a virgin because it is thought to cure HIV

      HIV is the white man's way of controlling cultural sexual behaviour

      Man is entitled to have sex with numerous partners without protection

      If a woman is wet during sex it is because she is being unfaithful and so MANY women insert bark into the    vagina to dry it out causing tearing and therefore increasing infection rates.

Myths that my business spends an inordinate amount of time trying to dispel through proper sex education. My business encourages the use of toys within the relationship of keeping it fresh and spiced up. We also encourage the use of toys as opposed to sex with inappropriate partners purely because they do not understand the difference between love and lust and I challenge you to find that any of these encourage misappropriate sexual behaviour. Many of these myths continue to be perpetuated because some with sexual issues of their own, demand that sex (or anything related to sex) be kept in the dark. It is only by shining the light on this subject that these will be dispelled.

Of course there are problems.  And I am sure your business and advertising contribute greatly to this tragedy in this country.

You are misguided and if you like I will gladly take you through our store and education programmes. I cannot see how a woman in a purple dress, a man without his top on and a loving couple with the word naughty can have any influence on the moral fibre of my community unless they have serious sexual issues of their own.

Would you like your children participating in your business?  Is that why we have children and raise them?  Do you want your children seeing those ads every day as they drive to sports activities?  Would you like your daughter at Lola Montez, doing the actual advertising?

My 3 sons, step daughter and step son have been in this industry with me since the age of about 5, 6 and 7 respectively. They are now in their late teens. They are very well adjusted. Understand their bodies and have made incredibly educated decisions relating to their sexual behaviour and in my step daughter's case the loss of her virginity. She has chosen to use a vibrator rather than have sex with a boy when he pressurised her at the age of 13!

So yes I want EVERY child to know about my business and make responsible, emotionally mature decisions about their sexuality and sexual behaviour. You teach your child to poo in a toilet? That is a far dirtier biological activity that sex which is the most natural and beautiful of all biological functions. And to shame it into the dark makes your version of sex far more harmful to a community than mine.

As a mother who is trying to teach children to add value to the community they live in, trying to raise those who will bring positive influences in their world, it is really discouraging to have to drive past your signs every day. 

We have a different interpretation as to what those positive influences are - and I ask you to re read the paragraph above.

I am sure there are other places you can advertise that would not be so destructive to people.

I am sure that your children will look for us on a porn channel - but we are not that kind of store - we are open and upfront. We have no shame and we do not and will not creep around in the shadows.

Please think about what you are promoting and how you affect the community and the people.  I understand that greed and money come into play here, but at some point integrity needs to replace greed.  That is the only way to rise above the problems that face this country.

I take offence to your suggesting that it is greed and money at play. Money absolutely - I am a single mother who feed and educates 3 boys and this business pays for that. I have no greed and believe that what I do is vital to changing the myths and secrecy surrounding sex. I believe that when we shine the light the darkness disappears and then we know better.

I hope that now you know better - you will do better. I for one will never allow your type to dictate what is or isn't appropriate.

I invite you to the store to see for yourself first-hand what you clearly know nothing about.

Thank you