Don't get married before you read this!

Sex and Intimacy Questions to Consider

With Your Future Spouse

I have to admit that these are not my questions but I think they are a fabulous idea and the questions really relevant. Even if you are already married and battle with intimacy I suggest you ask and answer these questions.

If you are the author of these questions please let me know so I can credit you.

Intimacy questions

·         What does intimacy mean to you?

o   Read and discuss The Five Love Languages. Determine what love languages you and your future spouse speak.

·         Do you think it is important to continue dating after you are married? If so, how often?

·         Do you find it hard to ask for and extend forgiveness to others?

o   To yourself?

o   Do you find it hard to receive forgiveness?

·         Do you know how to discuss differences of opinion in a respectful manner?

·         Do you and your future spouse view issues such as sex, finances and family planning in a similar way?

Sexual questions

·         What is your plan for your first night together?

o   Do you want to try to have full intercourse the first night?

·         Do you know where the hymen is located?

o   Do you wish to have it broken prior to your first night by a gynecologist or to break it together on your first night?

·         Is lingerie exciting to you?

·         Are you comfortable with your body?

·         How do you feel about being naked?

·         What kinds of birth control options do you have and which one would you like to use to begin with?

·         How often do you think it is reasonable for a married couple to have sex?

·         What type of lubrication do you wish to use if there isn’t enough produced naturally?

·         Which sexual practices do you see as unacceptable?

·         Which sexual practices are you uncomfortable with performing even though they may not be Unacceptable?

·         What are your views on giving oral sex?

·         What are your views on receiving oral sex?

·         Swallowing semen?

·         What are your views on anal sex?

·         What are your views on the use of sex toys, such as vibrators?

·         What are your views on masturbation while you are together?

·         What are your views on masturbation while you are apart?

·         What are your views on manually stimulating each other’s genitals?

·         Have you participated in any masturbation until this point in your life?

o   How do you feel about it?

·         What are your views regarding sexual activity during menstruation?

o   Is it to be avoided completely?

o   Should only intercourse be avoided?

·         Do you have any sexual complications in your past?

·         Do you have any sexual abuse in your past?

o    Have you processed the pain (through counseling if necessary) and become free from its power over you?

·         Do you have any fears regarding sex?

·         Are you aware of the process of how a female becomes aroused and responds sexually?

·         Do you know where the clitoris is?

·         Do you know what it does?

·         Are you aware of the process of how a male becomes aroused and responds sexually?

·         Are you aware that there is often a time difference between how long a female needs stimulation and how long a male needs stimulation in order to orgasm?

·         Why is foreplay important?

Do you know the difference between love & lust?

Do you know the difference between LOVE & LUST?

Girls believe in love and are taught that lust is for degenerates and girls you don’t want to be associated with. And so we think that Romantic Comedies are real life (like men believe Porn is real sex!)

We must teach our daughters to masturbate. I can hear the collective gasp from here! Really, still in the 21^st Century!

So let me state my case:

If little girls (and I mean from birth) are taught about how beautiful and precious their bodies are they might treat them with a more respect. Teach them body parts and DON’T cal her vagina her nunu unless you are going to call her nose her smelly welly and her hands her feely wheely! It’s a body part just like any other. The minute you have to call a vagina something else – subconsciously you are starting to layer shame.

Do not discourage her touching herself! It feels good, it always will. There is evidence of a foetus touching itself in intimate places. Now your daughter will probably do it in public and the secret is not to overreact. You have taught her to poo in the toilet. You have taught her how to wipe her bum – from front to back, but you cannot tell her that touching feels good and that it should be done in the privacy of the bedroom or bathroom?

And then respect privacy.

If your daughter is allowed to explore her body for pleasure with no shame she will start to understand that what is happening to her as her body develops and the hormones kick in – is pure biology! Not some magic created by a boy.

She will know that that gorgeous tingly feeling between her legs can happen to her alone. If she knows how to touch herself she will be able to deal with the urges, on her own. So when she goes to movies with some hormone raging teenager and he puts his hand in her lap and she feels that tingly warm feeling – she will know that it is her body’s biology and not some unexplained ‘love’ for the boy in question. So when he asks to ‘sick it in, just a little bit’ because she ‘loves’ him she can make a call based on real information!

Imagine the power of being able to say ‘no, it’s okay thanks!’

Imagine having sex for the first time when you are emotionally ready and it is a conscious choice – not because you think you’re in love – but because you want to!

So teach your daughters to masturbate. Safeguard them from what awaits and see how we protect them from STD’s, teenage pregnancies and inappropriate first marriages!

Pole Dancing is not for Sissies

Pole Dancing 101

Pole dancing is not for sissies!

For those of you who attended our ladies night you would have had a taste of how much fun it can be. It’s sexy and a great work out! But more importantly it changes something on the inside.

If you are unable to attend weekly classes (you live in Rosendal!) it’s time to buy a set of DVD’s that will teach you how. Check out the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCnzMzeLS7g

It is certainly the best teaching DVD I have seen. And I’ve seen a few.

For more information about classes call:

Basic Instincts Dance Studio – www.basicinstincts.co.za - 0723093130

Anti Gravity Pole and Dance Studio - 083 361 3255

Vertical Vixen - 0721993133