Raunchy Romance

Raunchy Romance – How to keep the Romance alive!

Many couples want more romance in their relationships and, no, it's not just women, men crave romance, too!

If you want more romance, you have to take an active role in making that romance happen. So instead of waiting for romance to fall into your lap, take steps to make your relationship more fulfilling and intimate this very day?

Here's how:

Be More Direct

If you want to spend more time together or if you want to make a weekly date night, simply say so: Don't bother playing games or trying to make your partner guess what you want. Better yet, book the restaurant and tell your partner where to meet you — it's romantic, proactive, and completely unexpected.

Share Daily Appreciations

It's hard to feel romantic if you’re focusing on all the things they do wrong.  Feel much more connected by shining a light on the wonderful things they do. Daily appreciations are a key part of a healthy relationship. Compliment your partner's body, eyes, parenting skills, intelligence, wit, kissing prowess … anything!

Small Gestures Make a Big Impression

Island vacations and five-star dinners are certainly romantic, but it's the little gestures that feed a relationship and keep your connection strong over the years. Whether it's making coffee for your partner or getting the car started on a cold winter's morning, the little gestures show that you truly care.

Give Your Partner the Gift of "Me" Time

Romance can be hard to come by if your partner is exhausted and overworked. If your partner is stressed and on the verge of a meltdown after a harrowing workweek, give the gift of "me" time by booking a massage appointment for your partner while you watch the kids. You could also simply help to cross things off your partner's to-do list by doing the grocery or dry-cleaning run on your own.

Have a Staycation

No time or money to go out of town on an extravagant trip? No problem. Hire a babysitter for the night and hit a local hotel for a romantic staycation. Pretend to be tourists and take in a dinner or a show, and then spend the rest of the night enjoying your kid-free, adult-only hotel room! Don’t forget to take your Naughty Night Lovers Kit with you. Available from Lola Montez.

Put Special Care into Your Appearance

In long-term relationships, it's not unusual for the lingerie to get replaced by tracksuit pants or the gym to get replaced by couch-surfing. This can chip away at your self-esteem and your own sexual desires, not to mention that of your partner. Put a little extra care into your appearance — even if it's just a swipe of red lipstick (Try Montez 6 or 9 – from their new cosmetic range) or a new hairdo. It will inspire more romance for both you and your partner.

Nag Less, Flirt More

It's a simple equation and one that is bound to add up to more romance. It might be annoying that your partner drips water on the bathroom floor or that they always leave the lights on, but nagging about little things is often futile and only serves to chip away at your romantic connection.

Remember the Excitement

Think about what gave you butterflies in your early days of dating: Then find ways to bring those little things back, whether it was spontaneous sex before work in the morning or steamy date nights at out-of-the way restaurants. When was the last time you didn’t wear underwear or slept naked?

Focus on the Present

Anything that keeps you from being present is going to affect your relationship and your mood, whether you are stressing over the fight you had with your sister yesterday or whether you are dreading a work meeting scheduled for tomorrow. All that worrying is not only useless, but it will only serve to keep you from true inner peace and connecting with your mate. 

Or as a teacher I had once said – If you worry you die, if you don’t worry you die – so why worry? Try yoga or meditation to help keep you grounded, and remember, if you want more romance, the best way to create it is by being present with your partner — right here and now.

Romantic Date - Kiss-athon

Kiss-athon

A marathon is ---- km long. Map out your own course around your town on a vacation spot and take a few warm up kisses. 

Then bike or drive the route and snap 26 pictures of the two of you kissing in 26 different locations. 

Give your kiss-athon a scavenger hunt element by developing a list of items that you have to find and kiss in front of along the way. 

Just like after a marathon take a long soak. 

Clitoris 101: 3 Things Men Need to Know about the Clitoris

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Romantic Date - Let the games begin

Let the Games Begin

Stage your own Olympics of Love. Don your tracksuits and organise an opening ceremony in which you slow dance to your favourite love songs. 

Now let the games begin: Arm wrestle, hula hoop, limbo (how low can you go), or see who can kiss the longest without taking a breath. 

You can also include some more cerebral activities. Do a crossword together. 

At the end of the date award yourselves medals in an appropriately celebratory closing ceremony. 

10 Seduction Tips

10 Seduction Tips

Are you trying to seduce a new crush and forgotten how?

Here are some tips to help you this May.

It’s all in the Eyes

When you are talking to your desire, let your eyes stay glued to his or hers a little longer than necessary - even during silences.

A gaze that lingers awakens primal, slightly disturbing feelings. It induces the same "fight or flight" chemicals that race through our veins when we feel infatuation. When you must look away, do so reluctantly. Drag your eyes away slowly.

This is a particularly good technique for men to use, as women always want to feel that a man is absolutely fascinated by them.

The Visual Voyage

While you and your date are chatting, let your eyes do some traveling - but only on safe ground at first.

Take a visual voyage all over his or her face, concentrating on their eyes. If he or she seems to be enjoying your expedition, take small side trips to the neck, shoulders and torso.

For girls, take sneak peeks at his body - and when he sees you - pretend you are a little embarrassed. This should really get his juices flowing and is a great way to get him to think of you sexually.

For a man this technique is a little more dangerous, so be wary. If your eyes travel too far south for too long you'll be in trouble.

Expensive Dining

This is a great technique for a gentleman who intends to pick up the entire bill on the first date.

Make sure you take your date to an expensive restaurant with an atmosphere like the one you wish to project - be it elegant, upbeat, cool or arty. Atmosphere is important because she will transfer her feelings about the room to you. Also take care how you treat the staff. I judge a man by how he treats and tips staff.

It may be superficial, but women can judge a man on the first place he takes them.

Dress to Impress

Even when seeking only a casual liaison, do not go out dressed like an unmade bed.

Dress as if you are auditioning to be his or her husband or wife. Men must make sure they are coordinated and dress affluently: women love good quality clothes on men. A good suit is a bit like porn for women.

Women need to dress alluringly but not slutty. He is going to mentally undress you, so there is no need for that short skirt or plunging neck line. You may want to try a slightly more revealing second layer of clothes so that you can, at the right moment, be taken off to reveal a bit more cleavage.

Give First Date Butterflies

When planning your first date or date night, find out what pulls your date's strings, and then plan an arousing, emotional adventure.

You don't have to go sky-diving, but a little shared danger is a proven aphrodisiac. A scary movie is an easy way to achieve this - or perhaps ice-skating, any reason to hold on tight. Afterwards, go out for dinner or a drink to discuss your shared experience.

Co-react

To capture your desire's heart, you need to share his or her convictions and show that you feel them deeply.

Watch his or her reactions to outside stimuli, then show the same emotions - shock, disgust, humour, compassion, etc. This is particularly important for men, if you don’t share his passion for his favourite team – fake it! Make sure your reactions suit the mood. 

Smile

A simple but crucial technique and I’m not talking about silly, loud laughter at everything he says.

A smile is the most effective form of body language and a great way to let somebody know that you are interested in them. As you are looking at or talking to a member of the opposite sex whom you wish to seduce, let a soft smile of acceptance frame your lips.

Don't give too quick a smile: just let a slow one float over your face. This will seem much more genuine - while making your romantic intentions obvious.

How do you feel about that?

A good tip for men: pluck up some courage and, whatever your desire is discussing, simply ask her, "How do you feel about that?"

It might seem awkward at first, but woman love to talk about how they feel and will nearly always respond enthusiastically.

Women, on the other hand, should wait until a relationship is on stable ground before asking a man much about his feelings - otherwise there is a danger of rocking the boat before it is launched.

Have the First Laugh

Another obvious but important technique. Women: make sure you laugh at his jokes and, when in a group, be the first to laugh. It brings you closer together. You will probably find yourself laughing at the same joke for 20 years. It is ALWAYS funny regardless of how many times you’ve heard it.

Men should try and introduce cute private jokes to create a bond between the two of you. This will help to make you seem like long-time lovers rather than first-date strangers.

Wear a signature smell

I'm a firm believer in wearing a signature perfume or cologne. When your desire smells it – you should be the first person he thinks about.

A word to the wise – understated is better than drowned and NEVER to the gym at 6 in the morning – it’s just desperate!

Romantic Date - Love Bites

Love Bites

Host a dinner for two without any utensils. Instead feed each other with your fingers. You might want to eat a meal of your favorite finger foods or try something absurd like a fondue feast. 

Prepare a platter of vegetables, roast meats and, chunks of crispy bread dipping them into melted cheese or sauce. For dessert slice some fruit, cake, meringues and dip them into chocolate. Experiment with different foods and see just how sexy food can be. 

Keep a large wet cloth handy for any accidents. 

Learn the Art of Seduction

Learn the art of seduction.

LBD Ladies Night on Tuesday was such a sexy evening! We got some tips on how to seduce from Mandisa Mathlobo, the Queen of Seduction. I'm not going to share her tips with you because I really think you should go on one of her courses. What I am going to share is an article I read some time ago written by Shari Locker. 

The art of seduction is well within anyone’s reach. All you need to learn are a few simple techniques that will exert such a powerful force, you won’t know how you ever dated without them.

Reach out and touch someone

When you feel ready and raring to get closer to your date, touch is often the ticket.

Not only does it forge an instant physical connection, the warmth of your hand on the small of your date’s back, shoulder, or knee will get his or her mind racing.

Women will often touch their date’s arm while telling them a story. Some men have found success is playing with their date’s hair. Not sure I’m mad about this one on a first date or even a second!

Turn down the volume on your conversation

You can use conversation to cast a spell on the object of your affections. In this case, it’s often not what you say, but how you say it.

People who talk loudly and jovially can be the life of the party, but speaking softly actually packs much more punch in the turn-on department. Your date will probably lean in a little closer to catch what you’re saying—and that’s always a plus.

He or she may also get the feeling that you don’t want anyone else to hear what you’re saying, adding a nice umbrella of privacy and intimacy to your conversation, even better, try whispering in your amour’s ear.

Take it slow and sensual

Seems obvious, but it’s easy to forget: Getting your date hot and bothered largely boils down to tapping into your natural sensuality.

Remind yourself to slow down and be sexy when you walk, or to take a bite of food while looking at him at the same time.

To help you along, steer date night conversation away from topics like bird flu and focus on more sensual topics, like your trip to Mozambique or how amazing your tiramisu tastes.

Enhance the sexy mood by looking at your date’s lips or into his or her eyes… and think about what it would be like to be kissing. Trust me, your date will notice a difference, and things will shift to a more intimate level.

Smooth-talk your way into a kiss

Leaning in for that first kiss is largely a leap of faith—you never truly know if your date’s glad you did until you pucker up and go for it. But believe it or not, smooth operators have come up with some strategies to ease into it.

“When I want to seduce someone, I’m kind of playful about it,” says Mark. “At a point during the night when I want to kiss her, I’ll whisper, ‘What would you say if I kissed you right now?’ It tells her that I want to kiss her, builds some sexual tension—and if she doesn’t want to kiss me, she can say so before I go for it.”

Go for the give-and-take

Seductive types send “I want you” signals early and often — a tap on the knee or arm to emphasize a point or a compliment like “You look amazing in that shirt” — and they wait for the object of their affections to respond before inching ahead.

Seduction is a give and take. I don’t think it’s necessarily up to the guy to make all the moves. Seduction should be a slow, sexy exchange.

Dates don’t consist of him putting the moves on her, but rather a back and forth flirtation. For example, over dinner, tell her how beautiful she is, then she could touch my arm, and then he pours her wine. This is foreplay at its best.

www.sarilocker.com

Romantic date - Getting Ready

Getting Ready

Turn the routine of getting ready for an evening out into a sensuous experience. 

Light some candles and start with a warm soak together filled with Montez Jelly Bath. Give each other a back massage, write messages on each other's back. 

Wash your partner's hair. You may be brave enough to shave each other. Rinse off with a steamy shower. 

At this stage you will be ready razzle or maybe you just want to stay at home. 

Voting is a Privilege

I hope you vote today! 

It's a privilege and not a right. People died so that YOU are allowed to vote. So get off your ass and go and make your mark! 

Then get back into bed and have election sex!

Marvelous May

Today is my Birthday! 

In South Africa it is a Public Holiday - celebrating Workers Day and I have often wondered how much this day of my birth has influenced my choices. From being a Human Rights lawyer to the owner of Lola Montez. 

In those days I was considered anti establishment and now I am called perverted and at one time in the traffic as I cut across a couple of lanes 'SEXPOT" I often wondered how she knew!

I recently bought a watch to remind myself that above all I have the heart of a revolutionary! So now when I receive awful emails accusing me of undermining the morals of society I have something to remind me why! I'll share one of those emails with you during the course of the month! 

Now I am older and wiser, I wonder if I should have done anything different? Mmm I wonder!