Did you know your vagina could...

Here's another article I found - written by another sexpert - Didn't keep the name of the author - so if it’s you - let me know so I can credit you. 

10 Wonderful Things You Should Know About Your Vagina

Consider this an ode to your amazing anatomy

You probably already know your vagina is seriously impressive.

This amazing body part can bring about intense pleasure, annoying pain, and even another tiny human being. In short, it's pretty awe-inspiring. That's why we think it's crucial to stay on top of everything going on below the belt.

Need a primer? Read on for all the fascinating facts: 

It can handle a pretty intense workout. 

"The muscular tone of the vagina is so strong," says Alyssa Dweck, M.D., co-author of V is For Vagina. On a related note, kegels are seriously effective at strengthening the surrounding pelvic floor muscles for more intense orgasms. Could there be any better reason to exercise?

Your diet may affect how things smell down there. 

While there hasn't been much research on the topic, anecdotal evidence suggests that your scent can vary during ovulation and even when you eat something pungent like garlic, says Dweck. 

The clitoris has more nerve endings than anywhere else on the body

No wonder it's like the control center of your orgasm!

Your vagina actually expands during sex. 

Ever wonder how it can seem pretty shallow when you're putting in a tampon but can also accommodate even a well-endowed guy? It's called vaginal tenting, says Dweck, and it's when the inner two-thirds of your vagina increase in length and width when you're aroused. Seriously, vagina, you never fail to impress us. 

Not all lady parts are created equal.

In fact, some clitorises may be a little closer to or farther from the vaginal opening. A brand-new study found that women whose clitorises were farther away from the vaginal opening were more likely to have trouble orgasming (probably due to decreased stimulation). But don't worry, these nine positions practically guarantee an orgasm. 

It tells you when it's baby-making time. 

"It's incredibly cool that your vagina will let you know when it's the optimal time to get pregnant," says Dweck. "The cervical mucus during ovulation is clear, rubbery, and stretchy." If you're not taking oral contraceptives (which interfere with this process), watch out for this pretty cool sign from below. 

 It allows for so many different types of pleasure. 

All those pleasure-packed areas in the vagina mean you can have four different kinds of orgasms (clitoral, vaginal, blended, and multiple). Correct us if we're wrong, but can't guys only have one kind of orgasm? Yeah, thought so. 

 One word: childbirth. 

"It's an unbelievable fact that the vagina can allow a 10-plus-pound baby to come through it and still come back to a normal size," says Dweck. The healing process generally takes about six months post-baby, but that's still pretty impressive considering what the body part went through. And because we know you're wondering, check out what sex really feels like after you have a baby.   

There's no such thing as a "normal" vagina. 

From the vulva to the labia, they come in all shapes and sizes, so don't fret about being perfect below the belt. 

Your vagina is so self-sufficient, it even cleans itself.

In fact, many intra vaginal products and washes can increase your risk of bacterial and yeast infections by throwing your pH levels out of whack. So stick to regular soap and water, and let your lady parts do their own thing. There are probably more bacteria in your mouth than in your vagina, says Dweck.  

For more need-to-know info, check out our ultimate guide to your vagina. 

Orgasms – the good, the bad and the great! Part 2

Orgasms – the good, the bad and the great!

Part 2

How to find your Orgasm?

So now we have identified some of the reasons you cannot orgasm we can try to help you along the path to great orgasms.

The medical complications are the easiest to deal with. A visit to your GP, tweaking your medication, sorting out hormone levels is relatively easy to do although many cannot talk to their doctor about the problems they are experiencing – it means you have to talk about sex!

We refer our clients to a sex positive GP we work with and if you want her number just give the Lola Montez Boutique a call on 0861 LOLAMO and we’ll refer you.

Sexual technique is another easy fix. We’ll talk to you about trying different positions, learning new foreplay techniques and how to communicate your needs to your partner.

Try watching Yoni or Lingam Massage DVD’s available in store or read the tips and techniques regularly shared on this blog.

It’s when we get to the mental issues that things get a bit more difficult to resolve. If issues are related to abuse, mental or physical we urge you to seek professional help and again we have several sexologists and therapists we can refer you to. We will also give you some sound solid advise and homework.

The homework starts with you coming to terms with your body. 

You need to start looking at yourself naked and while you’re at it have a really good look at your genitals. 

The easiest way to do this is to lie in an empty bath. Get your mirror and have a really good look at your vagina. Get your fingers involved. Find your clitoris and see how much it looks like a mini penis. Pull the hood back, check your inner and outer labia (the lips). You may need a bit of lube to make it more pleasurable. Try the Montez Play Water Based Lubricant. Check out your vagina entrance and if you’re brave enough insert your fingers and feel how wonderful, soft and velvety your vagina is.

If you are feeling too uncomfortable - stop. There is always later.

Repeat until you are completely comfortable with the process.

Then it’s time to move on – while your fingers are inside see if you can find your G-Spot and then find out what makes you feel good. Everyone’s body is different. Your special spot may be two fingers up and one finger over. If you know what feels good and where to find it you’ll know how to guide your partner.

Try to bring yourself to orgasm just using your hand. If you can great – keep practicing.

See which rhythms or pressures please you most. And then we recommend introducing a vibrator for extra pleasure. Try an Ammunition Bullet, Egg Vibrator or Lelo Nea.

If you still can’t find your orgasm bring out the big guns - The Fairy Wand.

This is a multi speed vibrator in the likeness of the Hitachi Wand. It is electrical so it never goes flat. We love the Fairy Wand for clitoral stimulation because it does not look like a penis but rather like a massager you can use on sore muscles.

This is important especially if you have preconceived ideas about vibrators. We love it more because its vibration is so strong that you needn’t put it anywhere near your genital area to receive extreme pleasure from it. 

And if at first you don’t succeed – just keep trying. But don’t chase the orgasm just enjoy the journey and the rest will follow. When you feel yourself starting to peak finish the orgasm with your hand because let’s face it – your partner is never going to vibrate.

Now you know what you are looking for – it’s time to introduce your partner to the party. We recommend using toys as a special treat. Show your partner what you’ve learnt and guide him. 

Use the vibrator to get you close to orgasm and then let your partner take you over – win – win!

Orgasms – the good, the bad and the great! Part 1

Orgasms – the good, the bad and the great!

Part 1

At Lola Montez we are often asked about not being able to orgasm. It’s important to know is that just because you aren’t having orgasms, and even if you’ve never had an orgasm, that doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t have an orgasm.

There are many reasons why you may believe you can’t orgasm.

It’s worth pointing out that there are lots of great sexual acts that don’t involve orgasms. But if you’re goal is to orgasm, read on.

When we’re asked about not being able to orgasm, we start with asking the following questions:

·         Have you ever had an orgasm (this includes an orgasm from masturbation)?

·         Do you masturbate with any regularity?

·         Do you think you’d know an orgasm if you had one?

The first question is important because, particularly for women, many who have never had an orgasm simply need the right information, encouragement and permission.

If you’ve already had orgasms and now find you can’t orgasm, it’s probably not something as straightforward as knowing where to touch yourself and how. Not that one situation is more hopeful or hopeless than the other, they’re just different and the paths to orgasm may be different.

The masturbation question is important because if you aren’t having orgasms, it can be much easier to learn to orgasm through masturbation than through sex with a partner. If you aren’t comfortable with masturbation it can make the process a bit more difficult (though again, not impossible). But I would encourage you to get comfortable with your own body as this could be more than half your problem.

I recently attended a Brunch with Dr Ruth who openly spoke about the benefits of masturbation and understanding your orgasm.

 If you don’t know whether you’ve had an orgasm or not then chances are you haven’t – so keep reading.

The next step in helping you identify the reason you can’t orgasm. The best way to do this is start to think of the different parts involved in orgasm and see where the problem may be starting.  

• Is your libido in the toilet? If you don’t feel like having sex or you don’t enjoy having sex this may be part of the reason you do not orgasm.
• Do you want to have sex (the desire part) but find that once you start having sex you don’t get very turned on (the arousal part)?
• Do you want to have sex, get turned on, but find you can never quite make it over the top to have an orgasm (the actual orgasm part)?

Next, think about some of the more direct causes of not having an orgasm. Here is a list of some of the main reasons people have difficulty orgasm.

When Your Body Can’t Orgasm

Because orgasm is an event that involves so many systems in your body (neurological, anatomical, muscular, hormonal, respiratory, the list goes on) there may be physical reasons you aren’t having orgasms.

Reduced sensation as a result of paralysis, aging, or some medications, the indirect effects of chronic illness, some diseases, and physical effects of medications can all get in the way of orgasm so speak to your family doctor to either rule out, or discover, potential physical causes.

The good news is that there are very few purely physical causes of orgasm that can’t be worked around.

When Your Mind Can’t Orgasm

Many definitions of orgasms describe orgasm as equal parts mental and physical experience. So it makes sense that our mental state, both how we feel and how we think, can get in the way of our ability to orgasm.

In order to orgasm you need to be able to relax, focus, and concentrate enough to take in the pleasurable feelings. You may need some help from your fantasies for this one.

Health issues such as depression, anxiety, PTSD can all make it difficult to orgasm. Aside from these health labels, if you’re feeling very stressed out, very down about yourself, or generally “off” it can prevent you from experiencing orgasm.

When Your Relationship Can’t Orgasm

It’s not uncommon for someone to be able to orgasm during masturbation but have difficulty having and orgasm with a partner.

If you’re consistently able to have an orgasm when masturbating but never do with a partner, there may be one of few things getting in the way. The easiest one to fix is when the problem is one of sexual technique.

It also might be a problem in the relationship unrelated to sex with this particular partner.

While this isn’t necessarily the case, having an orgasm requires relaxation and trust, and if you’re in a relationship that doesn’t feel safe, or where there isn’t enough trust, orgasms may not come. This lack of trust may be unrelated to your current partner but rather a legacy from some other trauma including sexual or physical abuse.

Lastly, if you are having orgasms on your own but can’t with a partner it may be related to pressure or anxiety you’re feeling during sex with your partner.

How Medication Gets in the Way of Your Orgasms

Many different medications can get in the way of you having an orgasm. Medication can impact orgasm either through direct effects on your body or indirectly by making you feel more tired, reducing your ability to concentrate, or negatively affecting your mood.

If you can’t orgasm and you are taking any medication, check with the doctor who prescribes the medication.

How Sexual Technique Gets in the Way of Your Orgasms

The right sexual technique won’t guarantee an orgasm, but without it the chances of having one go way down.

Fortunately, the right sexual technique to achieve an orgasm isn’t rocket science. What’s needed is the right amount of stimulation, in the right area, and of the right kind.

Once you know how to give yourself an orgasm it’s just a question of taking that learning into your sexual relationship with a partner.

How Society Gets in the Way of Your Orgasms

This may be one of most subtle influences on your ability to orgasm but it can still have a powerful effect. Here are just a few of the ways that society and the culture around you influence your ability to experience orgasm:

·         Quality and amount of sex education you receive

·         Messages you were raised with and contend with today about your body

·         Values and beliefs about sexual health and sexual pleasure

·         Values and beliefs about sexuality and gender

The impact of being inundated by sex negative messages should not be ignored when considering why you may not be having orgasms.

This is particularly true for women who are routinely told that “good girls” aren’t sexual and that they must hide or be ashamed of their sexual desire and power.

Tomorrow in Part 2, I'll share some tips and techniques on how to get yourself to orgasm! 

Clitoris 101: 3 Things Men Need to Know about the Clitoris

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