LCS - Question 47

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LCS -Question 44

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Wet and Wild

Wet and Wild

When it comes to sex, the wetter the better, and with summer approaching, being on holiday, near a beach is almost all I can think about. Long lazy days, catching a tan, swimming and afternoon sex. Oh what I’d give for holiday, afternoon sex!

Ask anyone about fantasy sex and water is almost always close at hand. Think sex in the Jacuzzi sipping cocktails. Making love on a moonlit beach can be the height of romance for some. Personally I think it’s overrated with sand getting in places I’d rather it didn’t.

An underwater striptease game can be silly, playful and very sexy. Dressing up as a pirate and role playing a nautical fantasy could also do it for you. 

Wetness is an essential addition to any play, whether you need a little extra help with lubrication or not. A bottle of lubricant should never be very far from hand. Nothing distresses me more than women who come into the store and ask for a product to dry out their vagina. I’ve heard of women using bark or bleach to ‘clean’ their intimates. 

The vagina is like a self cleaning oven. It does not need anything to clean itself. It doesn’t require douching, soap rinsing or sprays. It simply needs an external wash with warm water and if you feel you have to use soap ensure that it is the most gentle you can find. 

Like water itself sexuality can be fluid. If I use myself as an example, my sexuality has changed several times. What I liked then, doesn’t work for me now and that’s okay. Sometimes I’m ice and then baby I steam! 

So let’s consider the possibilities of aquatic play and why so many of us find it so arousing. Water or liquid is at the heart of most sexual encounters. When you’ve had a hot, passionate session you should be left with a glow. I don’t think there is anything sexier, and the salty taste that accompanies the work out!

When it comes to sex, water is associated with many fantasies, think pirate or mermaid and what about the ultimate test of man – the siren who in Greek Mythology lured sailors to their destruction. Sea views are sexy. Showers can turn into steamy sexual encounters. Try keeping his eyes off a wet T-Shirt and a simple glass of water sipped and shared holds appeal. 

Getting wet is one of the simplest ways to heat up your sex life. 

In the early days of my exploration I had a water massage. Picture a warm swimming pool, you can be naked or not. The massage therapists usually work in pairs so you receive a massage floating in water with hands touching you on both sides of your body at the same time. The massage ends with you being held like you would a small child. I found the whole experience liberating and comforting. Had my partner been present it would have been very, very sensual. 

Our bodies produce all sorts of fluids while we’re having sex. From sweat to saliva and a whole lot in between so its not unusual that we find wetness and water arousing. 

I was brought to this stark realization recently by an anonymous caller. He sounds polite enough with his fake American accent. The question he leads with is ‘Do you sell masturbation gels?’ The first time i was very polite and answered all his questions and then I realized that he was either using my voice as part of his fantasy or it was a prank.  And then he called again and again! I wasn’t so pleasant the third time round, so when he asked me what the lubricant looked like, I just had to say spit! I now recognize his number and greet him by a nickname I have given him. 

My point is saliva. We share it, use it and it makes a frequent guest appearance in movies. Not my favourite form of lubricant which is why we sell so many varieties. You will find one for every occasion. Water based is best for toys, silicone is best for water and anal play and oil based is kryptonite for latex. 

There are several games you can play in the shower, bath, Jacuzzi or pool. In the pool, blindfold your partner and play a sexy come hither game of Marco Polo. Ice in the Jacuzzi plays with temperature and writing sexy fantasies on your partner’s back in the bath can lead some marvellous adventures. 

There is a jelly bath product on the market which you can either use in your bath or a kiddy pool – ever had a jelly wrestling fantasy. Or how about rubbing each other with baby oil and wrestling on rubber sheets or towels. The loser has to pay a penalty. 

And if you want to get really messy try some body chocolate using your partner as a canvas – then lick away the evidence. You may have to get rid of the stickiness with a sponge bath or steamy shower. 

Keeping your sex life steamy and healthy doesn’t just happen. It requires work, imagination and planning. The same goes for water play. You need to plan it, so stock up this weekend and get ready for making a splash.

LCS - Question 31

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LCS - Question 28

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Orgasms – the good, the bad and the great! Part 2

Orgasms – the good, the bad and the great!

Part 2

How to find your Orgasm?

So now we have identified some of the reasons you cannot orgasm we can try to help you along the path to great orgasms.

The medical complications are the easiest to deal with. A visit to your GP, tweaking your medication, sorting out hormone levels is relatively easy to do although many cannot talk to their doctor about the problems they are experiencing – it means you have to talk about sex!

We refer our clients to a sex positive GP we work with and if you want her number just give the Lola Montez Boutique a call on 0861 LOLAMO and we’ll refer you.

Sexual technique is another easy fix. We’ll talk to you about trying different positions, learning new foreplay techniques and how to communicate your needs to your partner.

Try watching Yoni or Lingam Massage DVD’s available in store or read the tips and techniques regularly shared on this blog.

It’s when we get to the mental issues that things get a bit more difficult to resolve. If issues are related to abuse, mental or physical we urge you to seek professional help and again we have several sexologists and therapists we can refer you to. We will also give you some sound solid advise and homework.

The homework starts with you coming to terms with your body. 

You need to start looking at yourself naked and while you’re at it have a really good look at your genitals. 

The easiest way to do this is to lie in an empty bath. Get your mirror and have a really good look at your vagina. Get your fingers involved. Find your clitoris and see how much it looks like a mini penis. Pull the hood back, check your inner and outer labia (the lips). You may need a bit of lube to make it more pleasurable. Try the Montez Play Water Based Lubricant. Check out your vagina entrance and if you’re brave enough insert your fingers and feel how wonderful, soft and velvety your vagina is.

If you are feeling too uncomfortable - stop. There is always later.

Repeat until you are completely comfortable with the process.

Then it’s time to move on – while your fingers are inside see if you can find your G-Spot and then find out what makes you feel good. Everyone’s body is different. Your special spot may be two fingers up and one finger over. If you know what feels good and where to find it you’ll know how to guide your partner.

Try to bring yourself to orgasm just using your hand. If you can great – keep practicing.

See which rhythms or pressures please you most. And then we recommend introducing a vibrator for extra pleasure. Try an Ammunition Bullet, Egg Vibrator or Lelo Nea.

If you still can’t find your orgasm bring out the big guns - The Fairy Wand.

This is a multi speed vibrator in the likeness of the Hitachi Wand. It is electrical so it never goes flat. We love the Fairy Wand for clitoral stimulation because it does not look like a penis but rather like a massager you can use on sore muscles.

This is important especially if you have preconceived ideas about vibrators. We love it more because its vibration is so strong that you needn’t put it anywhere near your genital area to receive extreme pleasure from it. 

And if at first you don’t succeed – just keep trying. But don’t chase the orgasm just enjoy the journey and the rest will follow. When you feel yourself starting to peak finish the orgasm with your hand because let’s face it – your partner is never going to vibrate.

Now you know what you are looking for – it’s time to introduce your partner to the party. We recommend using toys as a special treat. Show your partner what you’ve learnt and guide him. 

Use the vibrator to get you close to orgasm and then let your partner take you over – win – win!

Be sexy - Be safe - Condoms 101

Be sexy – Be safe!

It's easy to have sex safely without sacrificing a good time. 

Here are our tips for staying healthy while having fun:

General Guidelines:

• Use condoms for intercourse (vaginal and anal). We recommend adding a bit of flavour - try the LOVEGLOVE range. Each has a different personality, colour and flavour!
• Use a latex barrier during all types of oral sex. If you don't have access to a dental dam, try Glad Wrap!
• Use latex gloves or finger cots for hand or finger penetration of the vagina or anus. Your nails can contain all sorts of bacteria, not to mention hang nails that can cause damage to sensitive skin.
• Use condoms on sex toys used by more than one person for any type of penetration (change the condom for each person) or on toys that go from anus to vagina. 
• Use only water-based lubricants with latex products. Oil of any kind. Vaseline and hand lotion included, destroys latex. Try MONTEZ PLAY Water Based Lubricant. 
• Steer clear of so-called "water-soluble" lubes, which frequently contain oil. 
• Store Latex products in a cool, dry place.
• Never re-use latex products and avoid using them after the expiration date.
• If you have a latex allergy try the SKYN or Durex Avanti Condoms.

Condoms: 

• Use only latex or polyurethane condoms. Natural skin (lamb intestine) condoms are not effective barriers to viruses. 
• When putting condoms on, pinch the air from the reservoir tip and roll onto the penis or toy. (A trapped air bubble can cause the condom to break.) 
• Uncircumcised men should pull their foreskins back to help prevent the condom from slipping. 
• A drop of lube inside the tip of the condom can enhance sensation for the wearer.  The actual variation in condom size is slight, but features vary between brands, so experiment to see which you like best! 
• Most condoms are lubricated with either a wet, gel or a dry silicone powder. 
• Can't stand the taste of the Condom? Try a flavoured brand. Like LoveGlove.
• Add Lubricant when using a condom during intercourse to reduce friction and the chance of breakage.

And remember the golden rule: 

NO GLOVE - NO LOVE!

Blow Job Quiz - Are you a whiz?

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Why are men so interested in anal sex?

Lola Montez recently had a Ladies Night called ‘Inside his Dirty Little Mind’’ and it goes like this:

We invite 5 common garden variety demographically correct men to the event (it’s the only time they are allowed into this sacred ground) – There is only one rule – they have to answer truthfully or they can choose to pass.

The questions are completely anonymous so ANYTHING goes.

The questions are written on note and then stuck on a wall. The guys get to choose 4 questions they wish to answer and I choose the one’s they want to avoid!

I’m never really surprised by what they answer but I am constantly amazed at what is asked.

For the sake of brevity I have placed the questions into similar categories and then counted how many questions in each category. Here are the categories:

•        Female Ejaculation
•         Oral Sex
•          Positions
•          Stripping
•          Anal Sex
•          Vagina Grooming
•         Breasts
•         Cheating
•          Commitment
•          Weight
•          Libido
•          Fantasies
•          And then a variety of others.

And the winner is ... Anal sex!

The big question is:

•         What gives? Why is this something men want to do?
•         What’s the obsession?
•          Does it feel good for a man, is it different to the vagina?
•          What is it that men like about anal sex?

And then one question about male anal sex – Knowing the male’s G-Spot resides in the anus, how willing/ do you want the girl to explore that?

The answers were hysterical – ranging from; Don’t you dare to why haven’t you done it yet!

The answers to the former questions were all similar – We’re curious, everyone is talking about it, it’s done in porn movies and it’s like marking territory.

The next obsession with us girls is – How to give the perfect blow job? To include the testicles or not? Does it feel good, different – necessary? Spit or swallow?

I look forward to the day when men are this concerned with how oral sex makes us feel and get tips on how to do it right!

And then the questions that always come up – waxed or not, what do you think about how we smell?  How to get the second date? And will men date fat women? Big or small boobs? AAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!

Here are some of the questions that really peaked my interest:

·         

      Name the one question relating to sex that you would like to ask your female partner? (Can’t think of anything!)

      

      What is the best way to say we’re sorry? (It depends on the situation but sometimes the best thing to do is to be quiet)

·       

       Is variety important? (Could you eat Nandos every day for the next 20 years?)

·       

       What’s your favourite sex toy? (They all had one – so maybe they won’t be offended when we introduce a toy into our bedroom play)

Next month (August) the theme is James Bondage – come dressed to kill! To find out more visit our website for more information or call the boutique to book - 011-784 6630