Romantic Date 6

Something to talk about.

We are always rushing off to do something and never really take the time to talk to each other. 

Now is the time - once a week once every two weeks or once a month it really is important. 

So set up a time just to talk - walk in the park, sit in the garden or curl up on the couch and TALK. Ban all talk about the children, sport, work or TV. 

So what is left you may ask? Talk about your relationship and life. Talk about what you like about each other, what you do well together and things you would like to do in the future. As you get more intimate you may want to share sexual fantasies that you were always to shy to talk about (Just remember the 3 drawer rule - read about it on the Lola Montez Web site). And don't forget to really listen. 

Romance is not dead.

Romantic date 5

Afternoon Delight

During a very boring work week meet up with your partner to do some sexy lingerie shopping - try Lola Montez. 

Change into the newly purchased items and then head straight back to work. You'll each have a secret to keep you smiling all afternoon. 

Romantic Date 4

Spell it out

Find a creative way to say 'I love you' - 

Perhaps you could use shells or golf balls. Or before a romantic walk or drive strategically place a sign along the route. 

Place a personal advert in the paper your partner reads, leave a note in the briefcase, lunch box or jacket pocket. When cooking use the peas, mash or fries. 

At bed time use rose petals - silk ones work best - available at Lola Montez. Mmm.

Romantic Date 3

Take it off!

Plan a night of striptease fun and games. 

Play strip poker or watch your favourite TV show or movie (even a rugby game works) and remove an item of clothing each time the character you picked says a particular word or phrase. You can pick an item (cell phone, gun, beach etc). 

Pop into Lola Montez and find yourself a sexy game if you cannot come up with any ideas of your own.

Once you are fully undressed move onto another game - naked twister or any other full body contact you can think of.

Romantic Date 2

Good in bed

Have a breakfast date in bed. 

Make up the bed with fresh, crisp linen. Prepare heart shaped pancakes or French Toast together with fresh fruit, warm muffins and champagne and orange juice. 

Serve on trays with a vase of flowers, linen napkins and your iPad or newspaper which you will read to each other. (Erotica always works). 

After the feast you may want to nap, do a crossword, cuddle or something more... intimate! 

How to play and stay together.

Couples who play together - Stay together.

I've often wondered what it is that keeps couples together and I'm not talking about those couples who stay together 'for the children' or because they cannot afford to get divorced. I'm talking about those couples who beam and giggle and appreciate each other. 

I've watched those happy couples and here is one thing that I have noticed - they play together.

An outsider can see the electricity between them and more important - the intimacy between them. Emotional intimacy, commitment, trust and meaningful communication seems to encourage and enhance their sense of fun.

I've also noticed that each part of the pair is independent and confident. They both have equal power in the relationship. They can drift apart at a function and then come back together and there is never any doubt that they are there together.

I have no doubt that they can both spend time alone. Solitude gives us the space we need for reflection and growth. It gives us a place to think about how things are and what part we play in them. Respecting your partner's alone time requires trust.

And then you have to spend time together and I don't mean in the same room distracted and self absorbed. 

Set aside at least 20 minutes a day to connect and date night once a week. This is the time when neither of you look at your phone, email, messages, Whatsap, Facebook or Twitter. 

Sometimes I think we are more intimate with our gadgets than we are with our partners. I don't remember the last time I was in a restaurant when one or both of the couples I have watched have not been busy on their phone and ignoring their beautiful partner with them at the table. You will not die if you don't look at your phone for an hour or two!

Compliment your partner. I read an alleged quote by Brad Pitt, he was talking about his relationship with Angelina Jolie. He said that she was getting really thin, was slipping into depression and a couple of other things I cannot remember and he didn't know how to fix it. Then he remembered that he was married to the most beautiful woman in the world and he needed to remind her. So he started buying her flowers, telling her how beautiful she is, what a great mum, what a fantastically sexy wife and he took every opportunity to speak about her to everybody about how great she is. And she responded positively.

I think relationships can be really easy - Men want to be desired and women want to be gorgeous. Just imagine the fun we could have with our partner if this is how they made us feel. Just remember that words alone don't count - it's the way you say it and the things you do to support the words that count too.

OhmiBod Club Vibe

Make an effort. Stay connected during the day. Now you are allowed to play with your trusty smart phone. Send a message - photo - quote, anything that will indicate that you may be up for it. Buy a sexy pair of panties, a new toy from Lola Montez. Book a couples evening to learn a new trick or two.

Je Joue Mio VCR

Learn to give and receive love. We are usually very good at giving and very bad at receiving. I'm told that it has something to do with self esteem. 

Intimacy begins with being comfortable with who you are. If you are too afraid to reveal the true you you will never feel safe enough to discuss your desires or fears never mind sharing and playing out fantasies. If you are too afraid to share the vulnerable bits you will never be able to play together.

Don't ever make fun of or humiliate your partner. NOT EVER. The damage you will do to your relationship will be irreparable. Before you play you need to know you are safe and that your partner is going to laugh with you not at you.

Be silly together. When last did you dance in the rain? Lie on the lawn and look at the clouds or the stars? Picnic in the middle of the lounge with no TV? Have sex in the Kitchen or on the bathroom floor? Send the children to friends for a couple of hours so you can have slow afternoon sex? Well now is the time.

Every day this month I am going to post a date idea for you to try. Save them, remember them and by all means do them.

February is the Month of Love. May this month of love be a rebirth and a commitment to more fun because we all know that couples who play together - stay together!

Romantic Date 1

Anticipation:

Make a pact not to get together or if you live together not to be intimate - for a week! There's still plenty of time before the big day (Valentine's day).

Instead just talk, email and SMS.

Talk about what you'd like to do. Plan something really special for the end of the week - Sunset drinks with a view, go dancing or eat take out on the lawn. 

Having something to look forward to will always give you a thrill and absence can make the heart grow fonder.