Tell me you love me - Let me count the ways!

I trust you had a wonderful and Blessed Christmas yesterday. I hope that you were with your loved ones and that if you are fortunate enough to be on Holiday that you will travel home safely. 

Next week we will continue with our romantic tips - but for today - Just tell everyone you love why you do!

Keeping Romance Alive - Week 16

We live in a day and age where lives are busy and schedules are swamped.  The working day is also a little more versatile than it has been in days past, and people are working longer hours or irregular shifts.  

This can put a damper on your love life, but this should not discourage you from enjoying you and your partner no matter what time of day it is.  

Romance is not just for evenings anymore, and here we have a list of 25 things you can do during the day, or during the evening that will help ensure you make the most of every second with your lover.

Week 16

Lie outside at night and count the stars. Name them.

Wishing you and yours a very Blessed Christmas.
Be safe, be blessed, be grateful!

Keeping Romance Alive - Week 15

We live in a day and age where lives are busy and schedules are swamped.  The working day is also a little more versatile than it has been in days past, and people are working longer hours or irregular shifts.  

This can put a damper on your love life, but this should not discourage you from enjoying you and your partner no matter what time of day it is.  

Romance is not just for evenings anymore, and here we have a list of 25 things you can do during the day, or during the evening that will help ensure you make the most of every second with your lover.

Week 15

Breakfast…or dinner…or both…in bed.  Nudity mandatory.

Sexy Staycation Ideas

Sexy Staycation Ideas

If you’re not joining the migration to Plett or Umhlanga this year and can only afford a Staycation – Fear Not! We have some fantastic ideas to keep you relaxed, your relationship intimate and fun.

I don’t know about you but the best thing about a vacation that it breaks the usual daily routines and suddenly you’re doing stuff slower and at different times. Try to break your daily home habits. Do not do anything on that list of chores – you’re on holiday remember.

Decide how long your staycation is going to be – I suggest no less than 5 days, 10 if you can and 21 if you are determined.

Start with the simple stuff – Move your bedroom to a different room and if you can’t, change the furniture around (just for the staycation).  Spray your sheets with a linen spray – try coconut it will immediately take you into holiday space.

Get out the candles – thanks to Eskom they are probably close at hand already.

If you are lucky enough to have a pool, get out the bright swimming towels, clean the cushions and once again move the outside furniture. If you usually go to the beach on holiday – go to the pool. Apply sunscreen every day – nothing says holiday more than sunscreen.

If you don’t have a pool, turn the sprayers on and run through them like you did when you were a kid. Or get water pistols and have a game of tag. Water pistols available at Macro or most toy stores.

Wear only the clothes you would on holiday, so get out the bikini, baggies, T-Shirts, sarongs, shorts and slip slops. Paint your toe nails a holiday colour, try bright pink. 

One of the things I love about going on holiday is the shops always look so different. Next go shopping. You don’t have to buy anything. Go to Wimpy for breakfast. Don’t go to your usual Mall – shake it up a bit and go to the opposite side of town. A trip into the City Centre will make you feel as if you have gone to some exotic country.

Shop for sexy snack, holiday T-Shirt, lubricant and a toy or two. Get a Henna Tattoo – not too much commitment but exciting, available at Salon London in Parkhurst.

Holiday sex is different as well. So if you usually get cozy in the morning change it to a different time. Many women’s libido peaks at about three in the afternoon. So send the kids to the pool and you take an afternoon nap.

Learn a new sex technique on www.isexed.co.za , practice.

Change your usual go to sex position. Introduce a toy into your play – start small, a Vibrating Cock Ring, an Egg or Bullet is ideal. Lola Montez has a Naughty Night Starter Kit which contains everything you’ll need for a naughty night – available in store or online at www.lolamontez.co.za .

Go for an evening walk – round the block, in the park or simply down the road. Hold hands, stop and kiss, talk about what you see, plan dinner.

Holiday food is usually simple and easy to prepare or it’s take out. Do the same on your staycation. Find simple recipes on www.food.com . Cook them together – sip on a glass of chilled wine, listen to music and turn off the television.

For entertainment – go to movies, eat popcorn and drink something green. Take a red city bus tour or go for a drive. Don’t take your usual route – get out and explore.

Invite friends over for the afternoon, drink cocktails and party hard. Spend the next day in bed – naked, cuddle, explore, nap and eat ice cream and Raw and Fine Chocolate.

If you have children – play Marco Polo with them in the pool (it’s what they’ll remember most). Play board games, charades and let them teach you how to play Playstation. Let each child pick an activity and a favourite meal. Do it – even if it means Jelly Tots for breakfast, you’re on holiday remember.

Go to a bookshop and leave notes of encouragement in your favourite books for future readers. Let the children browse in the children’s or craft section. Get ideas on what to do with the kids the next day.

If you live in Johannesburg go up in the Balloon in Mushroom Park. It cannot go up in bad weather so bear that in mind. Mushroom Park and the Botanical Gardens are beautiful spots for a picnic and a game of soccer or cricket. Lie on a blanket and look at the clouds. See shapes and tell stories.

Support your local businesses – they are also staying at home. Take food, clothes, toys, dog or cat food to your charity of choice. Donate to www.dignitydreams.co.za if you don’t have a preference.

Put up the biggest Christmas Tree you can. If you have decorations use them otherwise make them. Paper and popcorn chains work well as do hollowed out and painted eggs. Go online to get additional ideas try www.hobbycraft.co.uk or www.pintrest.com.

Spend a day making gifts for each other and cards for your neighbours.

Bake and decorate cupcakes or cookies. Eat the all in one sitting.

Lie on the grass and look at the stars. Try to spot the satellites, shooting stars and constellations, you can download an app to show you what to look for, try Constellation Star Viewer available from your Smartphone App store.

Try to be on your Staycation for as long as possible. Real Life and work will take over soon enough.

Try to have as much fun as possible, laugh – who knows this may just be the best vacation you’ve ever had.

Don't forget to visit Lola Montez - we're open throughout December - for ore details visit www.lolamontez.co.za

Keeping Romance Alive - Week 14

We live in a day and age where lives are busy and schedules are swamped.  The working day is also a little more versatile than it has been in days past, and people are working longer hours or irregular shifts.  

This can put a damper on your love life, but this should not discourage you from enjoying you and your partner no matter what time of day it is.  

Romance is not just for evenings anymore, and here we have a list of 25 things you can do during the day, or during the evening that will help ensure you make the most of every second with your lover.

With a bit of luck you'll be heading off on your summer holidays soon. Keep the romance going!

Week 14

Put a hammock up in your backyard and commit one hour a week to snuggle time, day or night.  No talking allowed.

Threesomes

Tricky things threesomes!

It is a common fantasy for him and her. If he says he has no interest feel for a pulse!

In my filing cabinet filled with fantasies threesomes, foursomes and greater groups fills at least the first two drawers - FFM (female, female, male) and MMF (male, male, female) being the most common.

It is a safe place that filing cabinet, one I can explore at leisure and without threat. But what happens when you want to take it a step or two further and make the fantasy a reality? Whether this is your fantasy, his or both the first step is that you must both, unconditionally want to. As I said – threesomes can be really tricky!

I know that a threesome is only possible for me with two complete strangers who I know I will never have to see again. I am far too insecure and jealous to share my partner with anyone else, I don’t care how sexy it feels or how much he wants to. But that is me.

I know couples who live the swinger and threesome lifestyle quite comfortably. They are happy and secure and swear that the lifestyle has taken their intimacy to a whole new level.

You want to?

Here are a few guidelines on how to get started. Start slow, talk dirty, share the fantasy – tell each other in detail what is happening. How you have picked the third party, is it a woman or man – who is doing what to whom. With enough imagination just sharing the fantasy verbally makes for an excitingly different orgasm.

You could take this verbal route one step further. How about some hot, dirty three way telephone sex? There are plenty of numbers available in adult magazines or papers. While you and your partner are in the same room with the third party on the other end of the line – this is a safer and very exciting option to explore the fantasy.

Been there done that and you want to feel the flesh? Make sure that you and your partner have discussed this and have agreed that it is something you both want to do for yourselves not for the other partner. Are you both secure enough to deal with the consequences one the game has begun? There is no right or wrong here – only consequence.

Yes? Then the next step is finding a willing participant.

       

You may have a friend that you both fancy. Male or female. Sometimes this can happen almost effortlessly. Dance floors are a great place to get the bump and grind started. If this is not an option you could raise the possibility in a light hearted conversation. 

Keep it light hearted because your friend may be hugely offended by the proposal and look at you in horror, run out the door never to be seen again. If you see the friend moving in this direction you can make a joke out of it and escape unscathed.

You could just pay for it. Arrange to meet the professional in a public place first. You both want to view the goods. If it meets with your approval you can move on. If not, have a drink, a laugh and move on. This is meant to be a fantasy not a nightmare.

The easiest way is to go to a sex or swingers club. The clubs are filled with like minded couples and there is no need to feel shy or embarrassed. You and your partner can take your time to find someone you both find attractive.

Once you have found a willing participant the next awkward step is setting the mood and actually getting down to it. And that is a whole different article which I’ll post soon.

Before you embark on this crusade remember the rules of attraction

• Both parties  have to be physically attracted to each other
• You have to be equally into the idea of having a threesome DON’T  do it just because he or she wants to.
• You have to show respect
• You have to listen to each other’s wants and need
• Remember a safe word
• Have fun

I am going to post a couple more tips on this blog and the www.lolamontez/articles site during the week - so watch out for them. 

Keeping Romance Alive - Week 13

We live in a day and age where lives are busy and schedules are swamped.  The working day is also a little more versatile than it has been in days past, and people are working longer hours or irregular shifts.  

This can put a damper on your love life, but this should not discourage you from enjoying you and your partner no matter what time of day it is.  

Romance is not just for evenings anymore, and here we have a list of 25 things you can do during the day, or during the evening that will help ensure you make the most of every second with your lover.

Week 13

Rent a sports car with a convertible top. Pretend you are a couple from one of the classics as you tour the coast or countryside with nothing but the wind in your hair.

Don't get married before you read this!

Sex and Intimacy Questions to Consider

With Your Future Spouse

I have to admit that these are not my questions but I think they are a fabulous idea and the questions really relevant. Even if you are already married and battle with intimacy I suggest you ask and answer these questions.

If you are the author of these questions please let me know so I can credit you.

Intimacy questions

·         What does intimacy mean to you?

o   Read and discuss The Five Love Languages. Determine what love languages you and your future spouse speak.

·         Do you think it is important to continue dating after you are married? If so, how often?

·         Do you find it hard to ask for and extend forgiveness to others?

o   To yourself?

o   Do you find it hard to receive forgiveness?

·         Do you know how to discuss differences of opinion in a respectful manner?

·         Do you and your future spouse view issues such as sex, finances and family planning in a similar way?

Sexual questions

·         What is your plan for your first night together?

o   Do you want to try to have full intercourse the first night?

·         Do you know where the hymen is located?

o   Do you wish to have it broken prior to your first night by a gynecologist or to break it together on your first night?

·         Is lingerie exciting to you?

·         Are you comfortable with your body?

·         How do you feel about being naked?

·         What kinds of birth control options do you have and which one would you like to use to begin with?

·         How often do you think it is reasonable for a married couple to have sex?

·         What type of lubrication do you wish to use if there isn’t enough produced naturally?

·         Which sexual practices do you see as unacceptable?

·         Which sexual practices are you uncomfortable with performing even though they may not be Unacceptable?

·         What are your views on giving oral sex?

·         What are your views on receiving oral sex?

·         Swallowing semen?

·         What are your views on anal sex?

·         What are your views on the use of sex toys, such as vibrators?

·         What are your views on masturbation while you are together?

·         What are your views on masturbation while you are apart?

·         What are your views on manually stimulating each other’s genitals?

·         Have you participated in any masturbation until this point in your life?

o   How do you feel about it?

·         What are your views regarding sexual activity during menstruation?

o   Is it to be avoided completely?

o   Should only intercourse be avoided?

·         Do you have any sexual complications in your past?

·         Do you have any sexual abuse in your past?

o    Have you processed the pain (through counseling if necessary) and become free from its power over you?

·         Do you have any fears regarding sex?

·         Are you aware of the process of how a female becomes aroused and responds sexually?

·         Do you know where the clitoris is?

·         Do you know what it does?

·         Are you aware of the process of how a male becomes aroused and responds sexually?

·         Are you aware that there is often a time difference between how long a female needs stimulation and how long a male needs stimulation in order to orgasm?

·         Why is foreplay important?

Keeping Romance Alive - Week 12

We live in a day and age where lives are busy and schedules are swamped.  The working day is also a little more versatile than it has been in days past, and people are working longer hours or irregular shifts.  

This can put a damper on your love life, but this should not discourage you from enjoying you and your partner no matter what time of day it is.  

Romance is not just for evenings anymore, and here we have a list of 25 things you can do during the day, or during the evening that will help ensure you make the most of every second with your lover.

Week 12

Watch the sunrise together.

Dignity Dreams

Let me say upfront that I have known Sandra for almost 21 years. She originally thought I was the curtain lady so was polite and gave the curtain lady the most heart warming smile!

Since then she has filled my life with laughter. Nobody works harder for a good cause. When Sandra told me about Dignity Dreams I didn’t pay too much attention – she was drinking tea and I was drinking Red Wine (maybe that’s why). And then inevitably I paid attention.

December is always Lola Montez’s Charity Month. All the proceeds from our Mistress for Christmas Party will this year go to Dignity Dreams. And if you have any of the items lying around please feel free to donate them as well.

If you go to the Dignity Dreams website – www.dignitydreams.com you will see their very humble wish list.

You can also follow them on Facebook

Wish list

·         Sewing machines

·         Over lockers

·         Electric cutters

·         Scissors

·         Colourful polycotton

·         Polyester towelling

·         Sewing cotton

·         Press stud machines

·         Ziplock bags for soiled goods

·         Sponsor our Educational Book

·         Office stationary – paper, postage, cartridges 

The Dignity Dreams Story

‘No Pads = No School’

It’s hard for you and I to imagine that there are 2.1 million young girls, between the ages of 12 and 18 years (living below the poverty line in South Africa), who have to resort to using old clothes, rags, newspapers, leaves, bark and grass because they cannot afford sanitary towels.

The result, according to UNICEF, is that 1 in every 10 schoolgirls in Africa miss classes or drop out of school completely.

Girls who cannot afford pads or tampons miss approximately 5 days of school a month, which amounts to 60 missed school days a year.

There are many aspects that link girls’ attendance to their menstrual cycles. The lack of affordable sanitary products for girls and women keeps them at a disadvantage in terms of education when they are young and prevents their mobility and productivity as women.

Dignity Dreams goal:

Every girl in South Africa deserves access to safe and hygienic sanitary products. Our goal is to help girls / women reclaim the dignity that poverty denies them and enable girls to make a lasting and positive impact on the communities they live in and society as a whole - they will complete high school, will be less likely to get HIV / AIDS or fall pregnant before 18 and will likely earn higher wages and successfully educate their own children.

Their solution:

The solution? ‘Dignity Dreams’ reusable sanitary pads. Reusable sanitary pads are a sustainable resource, allowing girls to wash and reuse them rather than having to buy disposable sanitary pads every month. In addition, they are inexpensive and environmentally friendly. The social benefit of this concept can greatly mitigate the disadvantages many disempowered girls endure during their process of maturing.

Environmental Impact:

‘Dignity Dreams’ reusable sanitary pads are environmentally friendly. Disposable sanitary pads take up to 500 years to disintegrate and are either sent to landfills or go through the sewage system and end up polluting the ocean and beaches.

Tackling Unemployment:

We are very proud of our contribution to lower unemployment - we employ unskilled women in Pretoria, thereby transferring skills and contributing to their economic empowerment.

Helping the poor:

Pads and tampons are too expensive for those earning less than R500 a month. The average pad / tampon costs R1.50, the average girl / woman uses 25 sanitary products during one period = R37.50 per month, R450.00 per year and R900.00 for 2 years. ‘Dignity Dreams’ packs cost R80.00 for 2 years - a saving of R820.00.

‘Dignity Dreams’ packs: 

 ‘Dignity Dreams’ reusable sanitary towels are available in beautiful, feminine packs because every girl deserves to feel confident with what they wear.

Dignity Dreams Pack includes:

o    1 x Drawstring polycotton bag

Made out of colourful polycotton

o    6 x Washable, absorbent pads

A Dignity Dreams pad has a number of layers:

§  2 layers of absorbent towelling

§  1 layer waterproof plastic

§  1 layer polycotton

The pad’s wings are made out of colourful polycotton with a thin layer of plastic between the two layers for extra protection.

Dignity Dreams pads are one size fits all.

o    3 x Panties

You don’t need to buy special panties to use our Dignity Dreams sanitary towels. Dignity Dreams Pads can be worn with ANY pair of panties! It will fit any size or type, except for thongs.

Panties are available in S, M, L, XL.

o    1 x Instruction sheet

Explains how to use the package, as well as directions for wash.

o    1x Plastic bag

A plastic bag is put into every Dignity Dreams pack. This is used to keep soiled pads safe until you are able to wash them.

Watch Sandra on Morning Live - YouTube

Please donate today!