Romantic Date 3

Take it off!

Plan a night of striptease fun and games. 

Play strip poker or watch your favourite TV show or movie (even a rugby game works) and remove an item of clothing each time the character you picked says a particular word or phrase. You can pick an item (cell phone, gun, beach etc). 

Pop into Lola Montez and find yourself a sexy game if you cannot come up with any ideas of your own.

Once you are fully undressed move onto another game - naked twister or any other full body contact you can think of.

Romantic Date 2

Good in bed

Have a breakfast date in bed. 

Make up the bed with fresh, crisp linen. Prepare heart shaped pancakes or French Toast together with fresh fruit, warm muffins and champagne and orange juice. 

Serve on trays with a vase of flowers, linen napkins and your iPad or newspaper which you will read to each other. (Erotica always works). 

After the feast you may want to nap, do a crossword, cuddle or something more... intimate! 

How to play and stay together.

Couples who play together - Stay together.

I've often wondered what it is that keeps couples together and I'm not talking about those couples who stay together 'for the children' or because they cannot afford to get divorced. I'm talking about those couples who beam and giggle and appreciate each other. 

I've watched those happy couples and here is one thing that I have noticed - they play together.

An outsider can see the electricity between them and more important - the intimacy between them. Emotional intimacy, commitment, trust and meaningful communication seems to encourage and enhance their sense of fun.

I've also noticed that each part of the pair is independent and confident. They both have equal power in the relationship. They can drift apart at a function and then come back together and there is never any doubt that they are there together.

I have no doubt that they can both spend time alone. Solitude gives us the space we need for reflection and growth. It gives us a place to think about how things are and what part we play in them. Respecting your partner's alone time requires trust.

And then you have to spend time together and I don't mean in the same room distracted and self absorbed. 

Set aside at least 20 minutes a day to connect and date night once a week. This is the time when neither of you look at your phone, email, messages, Whatsap, Facebook or Twitter. 

Sometimes I think we are more intimate with our gadgets than we are with our partners. I don't remember the last time I was in a restaurant when one or both of the couples I have watched have not been busy on their phone and ignoring their beautiful partner with them at the table. You will not die if you don't look at your phone for an hour or two!

Compliment your partner. I read an alleged quote by Brad Pitt, he was talking about his relationship with Angelina Jolie. He said that she was getting really thin, was slipping into depression and a couple of other things I cannot remember and he didn't know how to fix it. Then he remembered that he was married to the most beautiful woman in the world and he needed to remind her. So he started buying her flowers, telling her how beautiful she is, what a great mum, what a fantastically sexy wife and he took every opportunity to speak about her to everybody about how great she is. And she responded positively.

I think relationships can be really easy - Men want to be desired and women want to be gorgeous. Just imagine the fun we could have with our partner if this is how they made us feel. Just remember that words alone don't count - it's the way you say it and the things you do to support the words that count too.

OhmiBod Club Vibe

Make an effort. Stay connected during the day. Now you are allowed to play with your trusty smart phone. Send a message - photo - quote, anything that will indicate that you may be up for it. Buy a sexy pair of panties, a new toy from Lola Montez. Book a couples evening to learn a new trick or two.

Je Joue Mio VCR

Learn to give and receive love. We are usually very good at giving and very bad at receiving. I'm told that it has something to do with self esteem. 

Intimacy begins with being comfortable with who you are. If you are too afraid to reveal the true you you will never feel safe enough to discuss your desires or fears never mind sharing and playing out fantasies. If you are too afraid to share the vulnerable bits you will never be able to play together.

Don't ever make fun of or humiliate your partner. NOT EVER. The damage you will do to your relationship will be irreparable. Before you play you need to know you are safe and that your partner is going to laugh with you not at you.

Be silly together. When last did you dance in the rain? Lie on the lawn and look at the clouds or the stars? Picnic in the middle of the lounge with no TV? Have sex in the Kitchen or on the bathroom floor? Send the children to friends for a couple of hours so you can have slow afternoon sex? Well now is the time.

Every day this month I am going to post a date idea for you to try. Save them, remember them and by all means do them.

February is the Month of Love. May this month of love be a rebirth and a commitment to more fun because we all know that couples who play together - stay together!

Romantic Date 1

Anticipation:

Make a pact not to get together or if you live together not to be intimate - for a week! There's still plenty of time before the big day (Valentine's day).

Instead just talk, email and SMS.

Talk about what you'd like to do. Plan something really special for the end of the week - Sunset drinks with a view, go dancing or eat take out on the lawn. 

Having something to look forward to will always give you a thrill and absence can make the heart grow fonder. 

Gee Whizz - In search of the G-Spot

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Inspirational Crap and 2014

There is so much inspiration crap out there - how to love yourself, better your relationship, how to be your own boss, make money, lose weight, be focused - I'm exhausted just thinking about the potential my life has and which I am clearly failing at. 

So here is what I think - there is something to be said for working for a boss. You know you are going to get a fixed amount at the end of the month. You don't have to worry where the money is going to come from, all you have to do is live within your means. 

Want to have a nervous breakdown? Have a heart attack or look 20 years older than you are? Own your own business! 

How to love yourself? Really after all we've been taught about being selfish, proud and arrogant. Get used to the fact that your worst critic is yourself and that it is the hardest thing in the world to bloody love someone else never mind yourself. 

Lose weight, stop smoking, exercise? Please if you haven't done it by now you probably never will so now we back to loving yourself. 

So here's a revolutionary thought why not just despise the fact that you are who you are and that you are never going to be a supermodel, that you will marry what's available and eventually die some meaningless death and the fact that you stopped smoking, eating meat and have a 6 pack didn't help one bit. 

So this year (and I try never to swear when I'm writing) - Fuck it - just live - hard, go to work, be grateful, eat bacon, dance and tell everyone that of course you love yourself. Who wouldn't? 

Show me the way.

Show me the way.

'Nothing is better than sex

Masturbation is better than nothing

Therefore Masturbation is better than Sex!’

Anon.

I’ve always wondered if masturbation is an ugly word or whether it just has a bad reputation.

There are many words for it so I guess that other people don’t like the word either. Just think about it – It’s called, wanking, buttering the mielie, jerking off, patting the pink paddle – you get the idea?

Masturbation is such an essential part of our sexual repertoire. As a girl it can teach us the difference between love and lust. It can help us discover what we like and what we don’t.

Let’s face it that men don’t come fitted with a Garmin and they NEVER ask for directions and even if they did would we know what to tell?

If you know what you want and how you want it AND you could teach your other half just the right way – wouldn’t that be wonderful? Imagine if you could just say – ‘No Dude, you’re in the wrong place move a little slower, one finger up and two fingers across.’  

One of my biggest complaints is that men stick their fingers into you like they are testing bath water. There is just nothing sexy about it, not even remotely.

Which brings me to mutual masturbation. This assumes that you and your partner are comfortable with masturbation and then are willing to take it to the next level.

 Mutual masturbation is a great way to connect with your partner and learn what he/she likes sexually so you can give better, more intense orgasm!

We tend to think of masturbation as a solitary event, but it can also be a great addition to any couple’s list of erotic options. Simultaneous masturbation is an all-fun/no-danger way to share enjoyment and get to know each other’s preferences.

So how do you go about it – It involves the two of you masturbating in each other’s presence. If you are in the room while she is touching and fingering herself, you can understand better what she needs and what you’re supposed to do when you’re in charge and visa versa.

Does she like short strokes or long strokes? Does she rub her clitoris clockwise or counter clockwise? Does she like her genitals be touched gently or does she like it rougher? Pulling or stretching? Fondling or fingering? And what about your favourite vibrator?

All these little secrets bring you closer and help you facilitate each other’s enjoyment of sex.

In order for her to feel comfortable enough to do it while you are watching, is only fair that you do it too. She will love watching you masturbate as much as you like watching her.

Once you both get worked up, you can switch and do each other (this is called mutual masturbation). There are numerous ways you can do this, just use your imagination, your hands and your tongues. And what about your favourite vibrator? And whatever you do - do not forget the lube. It's liking adding just enough seasoning to a gorgeous meal.

The amount of pleasure that you can both get out of this is immense. After such an intense bonding experience, you'll feel more prepared and more comfortable about sex with your partner.

Shared masturbation can and must build trust. When you expose yourself to another, you must know that your sharing is welcome, that you won’t be ridiculed. It's a bit like being safe enough to share a fantasy. Give it a try these holidays. We all know that nothing really beats 3pm holiday sex!

In case I don't get around to another post before the season is over - Happy Holidays. May you remain safe and spend time with those you love. And if you can't - well then love the ones you're with!