May is Masturbation Month

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May is Masturbation Month

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Touch Yourself

Touch yourself.

Sex and masturbation have had a bad wrap in past 200 years or more. For some reason it has become associated with everything evil and perverse. It has been shamed, misaligned and even classified as a sin and yet it is still the only natural way we procreate and ensure the continuation of the species. Now whether that is a good thing or not is debatable.

I am of the belief that sex is good for you. This includes sex with your partner and masturbation.

I believe that it should be an important part of your health, relationship and personal development. I also believe that you do not have to have a partner to enjoy orgasm and that masturbation is a far better way to go than inappropriate one night stands. It is also the best way to discover what you do and don’t like and how to get to orgasm. It will help you understand your body and assists in developing a sense of self worth.

We Vibe, the world’s best selling couple toy, recently completed a survey in the US and I wonder how similar we are in South Africa? They found that in the US people were most likely to masturbate in the following locations: 41% - bathroom, 25% - shower, 19% - couch and 8% in the kitchen.

20% said that they had masturbated in a car. The most exciting news for me as a toy seller is that 82% reported masturbating the most during the winter months and at night. So ‘Winter is coming!’ now has a whole new attraction.

According to a National Representative US sample, 94% of men admit to masturbating as do 85% of women. I laughed at the comments listed at the bottom of the article. One in particular ‘The rest are lying!’

I don’t think we come anywhere near those percentages in this country, especially amongst the female population. Little girls are still shamed for touching their genitals and for enjoying their bodies. Watch a YouTube clip in which ‘The Cliteratti’ talk about the myths surrounding masturbation. You can follow the link to the clip on my blog, follow the link on the www.lolamontez.co.za site.

We really should normalize masturbation. I used to find saying the word a bit uncomfortable but now it just rolls off the tongue. Say it aloud until you stop blushing.

Masturbation is the touching of one’s own genitals for pleasure. It is something that babies do from the time they are still in the womb and is a normal and natural part of healthy sexual development. You can talk to your children about it and just like you potty train them and teach them to use the bathroom, you can teach them to touch themselves in the privacy of their own room or in the bathroom, wherever they have privacy.

If your daughters understood the power of their body and the beauty of orgasm she might understand the difference between love and a normal biological function. If she understands that that glorious yummy feeling is not love, she will make better choices and more considered decisions. I am willing to bet she will wait longer to have sex for the first time, will do so for the right reasons and may not marry the first man to ask her.

There are so many myths surrounding masturbation that has added to stigmatizing it. Myths that blow my mind in their stupidity. You’ll go insane, go blind, grow hair on the palm of your hand or become infertile! All garbage!

The truth is that masturbation is good for you. It has many health benefits. For women masturbation can help prevent cervical and urinary tract infections. It is because of a process called tenting and it’s too technical for me to go into on a beautiful Saturday morning. In men it can also help prevent prostate cancer, if you want to know how I can refer you to the research.

It can also improve your immune functioning by increasing cortisol levels, increases endorphin levels which reduces depression. It also releases serotonin, the happy hormone making you feel healthier and happier. Further benefits of orgasm include; reducing stress levels, reduces blood pressure, increases self esteem and reduces pain. Just so you know sex should never be painful and if it is you should see a sex positive doctor.

It is important to talk about masturbation openly and honestly. Talking about masturbation has its benefits. It promotes sex positive views in your home and community. It allows us to have healthier sexual behavior and attitudes without stigma and shame and how can that possibly be bad for you?

Thank you for participating in the conversation. Your emails and questions are much appreciated. Should you wish to ask anything or suggest a topic for a future column please email me on sharon@lolamontez.co.za.

We Vibe 4 Plus - Is it worth it?

We-Vibe® 4 Plus

Winner of Erofame Toy of the Year 2014.

Since We Vibe hit the market in 2008 they have won every sex toy award around. It has been the world’s best selling vibrator taking over from Roger the Rabbit from Sex in the City fame.

We have now had 5 versions of the toy, with each version improving on the last. They’ve got smaller and the material used to manufacture the toy has changed from a smooth silicone (everything stuck to it) to a brushed silicone which I personally prefer.

The original We Vibe motors were a bit iffy as well. If you let them go completely flat they died. The motors have got better but we still warn clients not to let them go completely flat.

2014 brings us the We Vibe 4 Plus. It looks and feels the same with one BIG addition - The No. 1 couples vibrator now has an app!

With We-Vibe 4 Plus couples can connect in new, exciting ways — whether you’re in the same room or on a different continent.

This is not the first toy to use the internet to enhance the toy. Doc Johnson had a Rabbit that your partner could control over the net. It never really took off in South Africa but that might have had something to do with our lack of broadband. I wonder if the We Vibe 4 Plus will suffer the same fate. I have not had the opportunity to try it yet. 

The We-Vibe 4 Plus is meant to be used together but I found that I enjoyed it more when I used it on my own. Because it is U shaped and has a remote control the We Vibe is a great hands free toy. With the app you can use it on your own (recommended) or together or apart/together.

If you have a long distance relationship, have access to broadband you are ready to go.

With the We Vibe (any version) it is slim enough to use together during penetrative sex. She gets stimulation to her clitoris and G-spot and he shares the vibe against his penis.

The original We Vibe’s were fiddly but with the remote control addition with We Vibe 3, using the We Vibe has become a lot easier.

With We-Connect™ Control on the We Vibe 4 Plus you get more remote control features and 5 bonus modes. You can control the clitoral and G-spot stimulators independently. The sliders on the control adjusts intensity. And then this is where this toy gets too clever for me.

Make custom vibration playlists. Choose the vibe, duration and intensity. Name the play list, save and play your custom vibe. There’s a vibe that’s just right for you.

Vibration Modes

Additional Modes

You can play with your lover from anywhere in the world. Send a private, secure connect link — no sign-in required.

When used with the We-Connect app, you have 10 modes to choose from. Plus, you can adjust the intensity and create unlimited custom playlists. This sounds simple enough and I’ll let you know how it goes.

The We Vibe 4 plus comes with a compact, body-hugging couples vibrator curved to fit her body and fit snugly in place. Download the We-Connect app off the iTunes or the Android Google Store, connect, customize and control from anywhere.

The Wireless remote controls intensity and mode of the vibrations. It also comes with a discreet storage case that doubles as the charger base. The charger base is USB-powered and it takes 4 hours to fully charge the toy.   

The We Vibe 4 Plus is 100% waterproof . It is Manufactured from Body-safe medical-grade silicone — free from phthalates, latex and BPAEco-friendly. Carbon-neutral manufacturing and USB-fast rechargeable battery. It charges fully in 4 hours for up to 3 hours of pleasure.

The We Vibe 4 Plus also comes with a 1-year warranty which I don’t think is enough. It is an expensive toy and I’d be pretty pissed if it breaks or doesn’t charge after a year!

For the technical junkies out there here are the technical specs.

App tech specs of We-Connect

•         Works with Bluetooth® Smart
•          Ready devices (Bluetooth 4.0 or greater)
•          Compatible Devices
•          iPhone 4s and newer
•          iPod Touch 5th Gen and newer
•          iPad 3rd Gen and newer
•     iPad mini and newer

Select Android™ devices:

•              Android 4.3 and later
•              Bluetooth Smart Ready
•        More info on supported devices:
•        Connectivity

·         Smartphone remote control  requires active Bluetooth connection.

·        

      Distance/shared remote control requires active WiFi or cellular data (3G/4G/LTE) connections on both devices.

Languages

We-Connect is available in English, Chinese/Mandarin, Czech, Dutch, French, German, Japanese, Polish, Portuguese, Russian and Spanish.

Watch this space to find out is I managed to get it to work!

Apple, the Apple logo, iPhone, iPad and iPod touch are trademarks of Apple Inc., registered in the U.S. and other countries. App Store is a service mark of Apple Inc. Android and Google Play are trademarks of Google Inc. The Bluetooth word mark and logos are registered trademarks owned by Bluetooth SIG, Inc.

 

Bonus modes available on the app

CREST	BOUNCE	SURF
PEAK	CHA-CHA-CHA	MY VIBE

Get to know We-Vibe 4 Plus.

We-Vibe 4 Plus

Feature Summary

App adds smartphone control, more modes, customization and distance play Compact, body-hugging form — stiff mid-section, to stay in place Wireless remote control Compact and discrete case for

storage, charging and

TWO MOTORS

WIRELESS REMOTE

100% WATERPROOF

RECHARGABLE

CONTROL FROM
ANYWHERE

100% MEDICAL-GRADE
SILICONE

Romantic Date - Blind Date

Blind Date

Blindfold your partner and take them to a romantic restaurant or surprise cultural event. Keep the surprises going all evening. 

Arrange for the chef to come and say hello and deliver a special dessert. Get a special bottle of wine. Arrange for a backstage tour at the concert or theatre. 

If you want an extra private date - swop houses with a friend and serve an extra special home cooked meal. 

Romantic Date - Loving Lunches

Loving Lunches

If you can't have lunch with your partner in person, be there in spirit. 

Once a week or whenever they need a pick me up pack a special bag of lunch with their favourite food, a love note and an extra treat (sexy photo etc). 

Romantic Date - Fantasy date

Fantasy Date

Set the mood for this inhibition loosening adventure by dimming the lights and putting on some soft music. 

With the mood set and your senses softened, pull out a stack of blank cards and write down a different sexual fantasy or sensual request on each card. 

Now put them in a silk pouch or a sexy pillow case. Take turns to pick out a card and doing what it says. 

Decide how many times a week or month you want to dive in.

Romantic Date - Edible Art

Edible Art

Unleash your inner Pablo Picasso in an edible medium. 

Start by undressing each other - stripping to your undies or to a completely naked canvas. Using chocolate, whipped cream and a paintbrush or your fingers, indulge in your inner artist and paint all over your beloved. 

Take some photos for your private portfolio - just remember that any photos posted are there FOREVER and will be used against you. 

Once you have created your masterpieces there are several options of how to clean off your canvases. You can both hop into a steamy shower or you can simply feast on your creation.

Check out the delicious body chocolate made especially for Lola Montez 

Romantic date - Date in a Box

Date in a Box

This can also work if you are involved in a long distance relationship. 

You can have a great date and 'meet' anywhere in the world. Think of a destination you'd both love to visit. Then send a package of items related to your chosen hot spot with a note on the outside of the box not to open it until your partner receives a call from you. 

For example: If you've always wanted to go to Mexico send your partner a package with a picture of you wearing a sombrero - then include a sombrero in the box. A CD of Mexican songs, a Mexican Flag, some edible treats and Tequila! Add pictures of tourist spots, fun facts about these places. 

If you are far away from each other you can take a 'walk' through these places over the phone. Or sit side by side on the couch. 

Romantic Date - The Gift of Giving

The Gift of Giving

There are many ways to give in a relationship whether you make a gift of your time, talents, touch, attention, or financial resources. 

Sometimes it means giving up something you want for yourself like skipping an important event in order to be present at an important birthday party or forgoing some appliance so you can both go on a much deserved vacation.  

You'll discover that it is just as good to give as to receive. 

Romantic Date - Young Love

Young Love

If you don't have kids yet volunteer together to baby sit a friend's child or a young relative. 

Plan an activity you know the child will love. A trip to an amusement park or zoo.

Chances are you'll learn something new about your partner when you see them playing with a  child. You'll both have an excuse to regress and run around a playground. 

Not a good idea if you dislike children!

Romantic Date - Downward Dog

Downward Dog

Take a Yoga or Pilates class for couples together. 

You'll learn a series of stretches that you and your partner can do together. Practice the stretches in beautiful settings. 

As you get in touch with your bodies you might feel inspired to learn more about meditation, breathing techniques and tantric sex. 

Okay let's not get me started about Tantra!